


Was it any surprise I took after you?

by youngjusticewriter



Series: Despite your words you care. [8]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Batfamily (DCU) Feels, Cassandra Cain Needs a Hug, Dead Robins Week, Dick Grayson is Batman, Gen, Good Parent Alfred Pennyworth, I’m tempted to put Talia and Damian in this too, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd is Robin, Jason Todd-centric, Jason adopts Bruce’s habit of taking in kids, Survivor Guilt, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, there isn’t any on screen character death but this story is about the aftermath of it, why isn’t that last one a tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjusticewriter/pseuds/youngjusticewriter
Summary: “What’s going to happen now?” Jason asked sometime later. It couldn’t have been too long because there were still curls of steam coming from the chocolate. He knew even after failing to protect Bruce (at failing to be Robin like Dick said he would, at once again failing to protect his parent) Alfred wouldn’t send him packing to an orphanage but Jason couldn’t help but wonder of it was better for Alfred if-Alfred had always been old looking - it wasn’t surprising since he was in fact the oldest in the manor and had known Bruce since he had been in diapers - but right now in the chair he looked ancient and fragile; so fragile that Jason was afraid that if someone touched the butler he would just break and Jason didn’t know how to help him. It wasn’t like there was some sort of duck tape or superglue you could use on a person when they were grieving. “The girl you brought will continue sleeping for several more hours after the shot I gave her. Master Richard has been informed of the events that have transgressed tonight. He should be here in a few days.”Something uncomfortable slid into Jason’s skin like a knife could be pushed under one’s fingernail at hearing that.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Despite your words you care. [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/593749
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60
Collections: Dead Robins Week 2019.





	Was it any surprise I took after you?

There was no surprise in Alfred’s eyes when he saw Jason enter the kitchen. Still the last of Jason’s family tried to talk him out of it (he wouldn’t be Alfred if he didn’t try), “You should be in bed Master Jason...but if you have your heart set on staying I’ll make some chocolate for us.” 

For the first time in hours, since having watched Bruce die and having something just crawl in his throat and just die in there too, Jason spoke. “I-I can’t,” Jason confessed and that was all he could manage to press pass that thing in his throat. Honestly, it didn’t matter if he could manage to say more. Jason didn’t know if it was sleep that he couldn’t do or if it was leaving Alfred alone - the last of the family he had found after having being caught stealing Batman’s tires. 

Without another word Jason walked by Alfred and took a seat in the table that was between the fridge and sink. A table where Bruce and him often had breakfast whenever they slept in after a harsh night of patrol; it was because the kitchen had a door to the garage which was where almost all the cars Bruce owned were kept. 

Alfred didn’t say a word, maybe something too had crawled in his throat at the death of the last Wayne. The Waynes who Alfred had apparently been serving a good many years before Bruce was born. Maybe it was a good thing he couldn’t. No matter how much it had hurt to have lost Bruce Jason had only known him for a few years...Alfred had known Bruce since he was in diapers. What was Jason’s loss to Alfred’s? It was simply nothing. 

What was the loss of a parent over a parent losing their child? 

Jason didn’t know and honestly if he ever did you know have a kid or honor Bruce’s thing for adopting kids in need then he desperately hoped that he would never have to know. 

Alfred didn’t even say a word when he put down the cup of chocolate for Jason. No, the only sound in the kitchen was what the coffee cup made when it placed down on the table and then, when Alfred pulled out a chair to sit down on, there was that. 

There wasn’t a coaster under it, Jason realized as he stared down at the coffee cup. It was stupid to notice that but he couldn’t help it. Jason didn’t get up to grab one from the drawer under the espresso machine. Nah, he just cradled the steaming cup of hot chocolate in between his palms that still ached from how hard he had washed them after he had managed to pull and then drag Bruce’s body from the car Bruce used for patrol. It probably wouldn’t have managed it on his own. It was withheld help of the girl they had been rescuing that Jason had been able to put Bruce in the car and later when they had arrived at the cave pull him out. 

“What’s going to happen now?” Jason asked sometime later. It couldn’t have been too long because there were still curls of steam coming from the chocolate. He knew even after failing to protect Bruce (at failing to be Robin like Dick said he would, at once again failing to protect his parent) Alfred wouldn’t send him packing to an orphanage but Jason couldn’t help but wonder of it was better for Alfred if- 

Alfred had always been old looking - it wasn’t surprising since he was in fact the oldest in the manor and had known Bruce since he had been in diapers - but right now in the chair he looked ancient and fragile; so fragile that Jason was afraid that if someone touched the butler he would just break and Jason didn’t know how to help him. It wasn’t like there was some sort of duck tape or superglue you could use on a person when they were grieving. “The girl you brought will continue sleeping for several more hours after the shot I gave her. Master Richard has been informed of the events that have transgressed tonight. He should be here in a few days.”

Something uncomfortable slid into Jason’s skin like a knife could be pushed under one’s fingernail at hearing that. And God wasn’t that shitty of him. Dick had a right to know that Bruce was dead, had a right to yell at and even hit Jason for fucking up. Robin went out there to protect Batman and Jason hadn’t been able to do that. 

“You can cry you know if you feel like it.” Jason blurted out sometime later when the coffee cup was no longer his palms and fingers but still a sip had yet to be taken out of it. “Or you could throw something if that...” Jason trailed off, feeling stupid for opening his mouth and suggesting that last bit. “I-I don’t-“ Jason cut himself off. Yeah, he had lost both of his parents before but then there had been no one else. It just had been him coping with the grief and trying to survive; the latter had been shitty to deal with but had been good in way because he was too busy trying to get a roof over his head and food in his belly that he didn’t have time to let grief crash into like a wave, leaving him under the water, unable to breathe, and trying to get back to the surface. Now there was someone else who had lost Bruce - two someones actually - and Jason didn’t really know what to do. 

And there was nothing more that Jason hated than to have someone he cared for hurting and him being able to do nothing for them. 

“I’m sorry,” Jason eventually said, forcing the words past that thing that had crawled into his throat at the sight of Bruce dying (You weren’t suppose to die, you’re so smart and always have a plan how can you just die?). “It was my fault, my job. I should have...” This time Jason stopped talking because Alfred got up from the chair he had been sitting in. 

“Master Bruce would have died eventually for his nightly activities. There was nothing you could have done about it. You are a boy Master Jason. No matter how talented, no matter how smart, no matter how quick, or loyal you may be you are just that. I am thankful for the fact is not two graves that will have to be filled because of that.” 

The thing in Jason’s throat shattered into pieces and how those pieces didn’t cut into him he didn’t know. Maybe they were cutting him, Jason thought as he realized the pained noise of an animal wasn’t from some animal outside. No, it was from him. The crying was from him and it shouldn’t be. It was his fault. The least he could do was be there for Alfred. Alfred who should be holding Jason accountable instead of doing this, being like he was. 

“And I’m not the only one,” Alfred’s voice had raised in tone but it wasn’t from anger that made the volume of it louder. No, Alfred was speaking like that so he could heard of Jason “I’m sure if Master Bruce could say something from where he is he would tell you he is glad that you are alive and that you should never do anything to endanger the fact you survived tonight.” 

Jason’s head was shaking and it wasn’t that action that made the world hard to see. No, the world was a blur from the tears coming from his eyes. 

It took longer than it should to realize arms were around him, that Alfred was hugging him so tight like he was afraid Jason might disappear, might break and never be put back together, if he wasn’t holding him. 

And that was a first, you know, for being hugged by Alfred. ‘Cause the butler very much cared for them but he wasn’t one to eat with them during a meal no matter how much Jason had asked and he wasn’t one to be touchy feely. He would clean up and stitch wounds with grace unless he thought you deserved to feel a bit of pain but he wasn’t one for holding your hand if you crossed the road or a person you could crawl into bed with because you had a nightmare. 

It had always been Bruce (well not the hand holding while crossing the road but that wasn’t the point) that Jason had done that stuff with once he was comfortable with being touched by the man. 

But Bruce was gone and it was just them ‘cause Jason doubted Dick would want anything to do with him and after tonight Jason didn’t blame him. 

And it’s that that made Jason return the hug and ruin Alfred’s suit with the tears and snot that was on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Friday: Canon Divergence or Time Travel. 
> 
> Next chapter we have Cass and Tim who will not be coping well with Bruce’s death.


End file.
